Yes, you heard me right! ALIENS HAVE TAKEN OVER WASHINGTON! How else can you explain it?
Here’s my theory: President Bush, his advisory staff, and most of Congress were kidnapped by aliens from another planet, who replaced them with identically-looking alien clones. I can only speculate as to the reason for this grand conspiracy. Perhaps they plan to conquer our civilization by destroying our economy from within.
Considering the way things are going, it appears as if they will be successful. You had better get busy learning how to speak ZORK! (If you have been a regular listener to Fed Chairman Ben Bernanke’s testimonies before Congress, and if you believe what he has been saying, then there is no need for you to worry – you are already half way there!)
Here is a true story:
My mother worked as a teller in a bank during the 60’s and 70’s, so when I was a child the family conversations would sometimes gravitate to the subject of money. I remember once asking my mother, “If the government can print as much money as they want, then why don’t they just print enough money to give every American a million dollars, so everyone would be a millionaire and no one would be poor.”
My mother only had a high school education, and she was certainly no economists. But she did have common sense – you know, that rare commodity that is so lacking in our nation’s capital today. Here is how she answered my question, “If everyone had a million dollars, then no one would be any better off, because the prices of everything that we buy would go up so much that it could take a million dollars just to buy a loaf of bread.”
Although she didn’t use the word “inflation” in her explanation, it is quite obvious that my mother had a better understanding of inflation than almost anyone in Washington today.
Folks, what is the difference between giving every American one million dollars, and giving every American 600 dollars? The only difference is the amount!
The 150 billion dollar “economic stimulus” package is a farce! It is nothing more than an attempt to buy votes and curry favor in an election year, so that the people who are currently in power can remain in power. Giving every American $600 to spend will do nothing to help the economy. What it will do is increase inflation, the national debt, and our indebtedness to foreign nations! It will also further destroy the dollar. It will be like trying to put out a fire by throwing gasoline on it! There is no surer way to bring our nation down, than to bring down our economy. Surely our political leaders would not want such a fate for our great nation! That is why I think that our political leaders have been replaced by alien clones. What else could it be? We must throw them all out and replace them with real Americans – you know, those freedom-loving people who wrote the Constitution in order to limit the size and power of government.